Flip - Flops straight from my heart

Myriad Colors hover in the air, it’s absolutely disastrous to cry ‘Unfair’
When desert sands whirl in a storm, hell breaks loose and
Fear stops every demand.

Thirty three thousand times I tell myself don’t hurt yourself ,
Never does heart learn from the past! New things keep interacting with the old,
Conversations thus turn even more bold

Today I swear I decided not to emote, Not to shed a tear , nor a sigh evoke,
I broke my promise I apologize to myself.I didn’t heed to my brain’s request.
Brain had told me to keep emotions aside, decide what was profitable and measure each stride

How things don’t matter when you cannot compromise on your principles,
Ethics and laws and all those complications.

I go through tough times , when I cannot decide,
Between the goods and bads and the ugly and the nice,
There is of course unwanted need of kindness that we need to suffice.
I go on helping thousands galore, forget what it is once to live for the self allure,
Love the neighbour more than one’s own kith and kin,
I sometimes feel ashamed of my unsjust sin!

I changed this policy from today on.
No more sadness and misery sharing would go on.
I want to stay as far from crowd as possible,
Being a stranger amongst friends is a mark indelible.

Decision tough to make and tougher to stand by,
Promises made to myself atleast this time I can’t deny
I will once again decide though….This I have never done before.
Then I go on thinking this were a new start,
Sporting spirit and will to achievement holds.
I start a fresh page in the book of rights,
I decipher what my friends hide.


Anger and sympathy we ask for often,
How about thinking and giving away some solution,
Love and luck are both important.
Life there on is contingent.

Leave me and let me breathe soft and low,
Let me stay lull in my own cocooned tow.

www.greeneyedgoblin.blogspot.com

Dedicated to an emotion called 'confusion due to love'

Hope you all find a little of yourselves in the present or past in the poem too.

Fritters are accounts or excuses people give in order to get away with events where they fail to meet expectations. Below are some examples of Fritters that students come up with when they procrastinate. I found myself smiling when I came across these and suddenly I became nostalgic, thought about all the times when I gave accounts for not doing work. Or having postponed stuff.
Well I think you would also relate to a few of the things that I mention here.

• Biological necessity: Hunger is an intrinsic drive. Often a good reason for not finishing the work is “An empty stomach cannot let a person think.”
• Cleanliness in the forms of washing, showering are good reasons for not being able to complete the required work.
• Fatigue: I’ll get up tomorrow when I’ll be fresh to work.
• Rest-on-your-laurels-fritter where the person thinks that he or she has done it before and has been successful hence this time too everything will be just the same.
• Commiseration fritter is a common fritter too. People often waste time in trying to get together information from other people and compare what the status of those people is. Whether they have progressed or are they also lagging.
• Social Comparison If a student feels that he or she is way ahead of her competitors then the student feels relaxed and thinks that a break is well deserved and the student can stay off work while others work because the final outcome is going to be good (or that’s at least what the student thinks is going to happen)
• Higher Good: This strategy suggests that to procrastinate work a person might say that studies are not everything. Values, moral development are also important. An example often quoted is “Even Einstein was not a good student sp failure does not mean that one can never be successful.”
• Existential: Something like what-the hell-sort-of difference-will-it-make fritter
• Task Based Fritters
Time symmetry fritter, when a person counts the total number of pages or thinks the total number of hours required for finishing a task and allocating each hour for a part of the task. At the same time say while a person is reading an article, the focus is on the number of pages
Scheduling Fritters, wherein the person decided to work at the hour. Like preference to work at 6:00pm rather than 5:40 pm or 6:05 pm.
Preparation related fritters, like the while – I – am- at –it. So like people like to first clean up their work area or such like and then begin work.
• Creativity Fitters: The-first-step-is-hardest fritter. Here the initial part of an assigned job takes up most of the time under the pretext that a person requires ‘X’ amount of extra time to come up with novel ideas.

Thus there are many more of these kinds. However what I wish to point out is when you become conscious of all these varieties of fritters I am sure you will stop procrastinating right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

click a little on this link to read a little interesting piece
www.greeneyedgoblin.blogspot.com

It's all happening again.
Again I am becoming the good old friend i was.
Again I am supporting someone I care for.
Again I don't seem to have time,
Again everything seems not fine.
Again the grass is withering away with the chills
Again the raindrops are causing huge spills.
Again the winter is around the corner,
Again my goals just seems so much further,
Again I am being dominated by someone else's problems,
Again I am heeding to other peoples' sadness.
Again I am doing what I am good at.
Again I am giving advice I am unable to adapt.
Again the rainbow is going to peep,
Again happiness promises to sweep,
Again I dream of beautiful smiles,
Again I wait for the good times.
Again I reiterate I won't give in to
Again I say for sure this time it's Deja vu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A nice little poem I came across while i was reading our President's speech

Mahakavi Subramaniya Bharatiar, who in 1910 composed the poem envisioning women of India

She walks with raised head, with her eyes looking straight,
She has her principles, unafraid of anybody!
She has a lofty and knowledge based pride,
Women of excellence, don't falter from the chosen path.
She drives ignorance away. She welcomes the bliss of life.
With learned mind, this is the Dharma of emerging woman.


To me this is the essence of the 21st century woman.Too bad that the poet had envisioned it in 1910 and it yet still seems like a dream!

What can make us happy? The answer can be so trivial like an icecream, money or even something as mundane as a free day to sleep.
Last three days I am all up , about and bouncy.Life is infact as crazy as ever but it's fun.Good things are happening or rather I am taking things in the right spirit probably.
Hate to see miserable faces sometimes...Kind of reminds me of my conscience.But this time I am going to try harder......
Well just two days ago I found a long lost friend on ORKUT.Yeah the social network that was in much hype earlier this year but has recently been conviniently neglected.
I thought I'd add this friend to my list and send him a message about his whereabouts and what he was doing now and so on and so forth.
They say when you least expect .........THINGS HAPPEN! I thought that friend of mine wouldn't definitely remember me and would probably delete my request for friendship as soon as he saw it.However destiny has it's own share of surprises for all of us and many more for some of us than others.So he did write back and I sent him a reply....
No sooner had I sent him my number I got a call........I was so surprised....pleasantly surprised to hear from him that soon.
Apparently since he is also in the USA it was a local call....so was convinient to talk long...We had so much to catch up on ....about 9 years of no contact whatsoever.
It was the coolest thing that happened to me recently , specially because I relived all those moments of childhood when all of us would play together at my Aunt's place.
Reminiscing the past is not always pleasant but this time around it was sheer BLISS!!!!!!!!
Thanks dear friend for making my day and giving me a call.....After all these years I must say you haven't changed at all!!!!!!!!

Black is beautiful they say and I follow it religiously.
friends comment , ridicule and what not but yeah it does make you look all trim and nice but at the same time i wish to condemn all remarks like well depressed people wear black or people who are introverted wear black and so on and so forth.
Now whats so special about a black turtle neck.Generally speaking a turtle neck is something sophisticated yet teasingly sexy.What I mean is that it is chick and elegant but at the same time it has that little hint of wildness to it.....makes it irresistible to give a second look to anyone wearing a turtle neck.Lest it's a turtle too!
Last night i slept with just one wish in my heart and now i don't remember what that wish was but i know whatever it was , i have been in a good mood since this morning.
People you are close to can really feel the zing.The ring in your laughter.
Yesterday i had seen a movie where the hero tries to impress the heroine by telling her how much he loves her and tells her that he has even observed that she has six different smiles.i found that really sweet,and well if any guy were able to tell me that , man wouldn't I be flattered ?????
so ever since I have been trying to look for the different kinds of smiles that people have ...specially those I really care about and guess what they do have different smiles.Like the smug smile when you are planning something , or the simple innocent smile (just like a kid in a candy shop), and that lustful smile when a guy sees a good looking lass pass the street, or that blushing smile when I tease a friend about her beau....so many of those different combinations of emotions and the 32 calcium deposits.....awesome.
Apple cider, wonder how many of you have actually tried that.It is just so refreshing,specially in this cold winter.Fall is not yet over but winter just seems to push it's way through.However this time the weather has in general been a big surprise to all.With whatever happened in New Orleans, texas and the gulf coast there have been quite a few effects on the weather at my place too.
So all you people out that try apple cider,if possible the spiced version.I bet it can warm up the cold evenings for you when you are busy with research or work or whatever you are doing.
And the last portion in my title...Smiles...Do i need to elaborate on that?
I have seen a lot of sadness , in my life and in the life of people I have grown to know or in the life of my family members.It's a certain degree of sadness that some people might find trivial but those who face it find it hard to deal with.However one thing is surely effective............
when you are loaded with happiness don't forget
when faced with misery don't inhibit
when loved by someone don't conclude
when judged by someone don't assume
when urged to help don't think, just do
when asked to leave, never question too
one thing you'd always realize is that time will change and so would YOU!!!!!!

The raindrops splattered all night!The lightening and thunder were mercilessly invading the dark night but I lay silently in my bed trying to fall asleep.I claim to be so brave and I claim not to be afraid or apprehensive but honestly speaking ,I was so afraid of the thunder last night! Everytime the lightening struck , there was thunder and the window panes would shudder.I live on the very top of the building so I wonder sometimes if the roof is going to come down or something.
Well I swallowed gulps load of fear and slept away in the pitch dark trying to concentrate on sleep inducing strategies while none of them seemed to work.
Finally I guess I must have fallen asleep indeed.
It's always a misconception when your life decisions seem like 'Desperation'to other people, be it friends or family.I know there is a proper time for everything and nevertheless human kind is always known to be in hurry for something or the other at all times.
My life so far has been great.A lot of twists and turns and a lot of happiness and fewer painful moments.
Cheer Up! You can make it! these encouraging words don't seem to work their magic anymore.I don't seem to be following up on any promises I make to myself and to me someone who isn't trustworthy in one's own eyes can never be trustworthy for others.
I know probably more number of secrets which are buried down in peoples' hearts than even the secret service agents.Not that they would be interested in knowing either........ I don't know how and why i suddenly develop beautiful friendships out of the blue and then these friends find a confederate in me.
I owe it to my passion for talking.May be it's almost an addiction and I definitely need rehab now.I am working on it slowly, but surely.I will hopefully bring down the number of words I speak by say a million a week! Surprised? Ofcourse yes,the number of words I might be speaking in a day would be a few Million for sure!
Yesterday I told my Mom that I'd love to meet the guy of my dreams, and the only thing that came to my mind was her words when she had said.......Poonam one day you will grow up and you will come up to me and say (supposedly like every other girl) that 'I want to get married' and I had laughed it out loud saying that I would never do such a thing and that I was always going to remain single.
I don't know whether it is because of my closest friends who have found their better halves, or is it because I have no one to call my own, or because my hormones are working overtime or because I have nothing better to do , but one thing is clear I seem to be quite desperate to find someone now.
I don't like this state of mind and so I have decided deeds are better than words.Act now for thou shalt not get a chance later.So I am going to make my self so busy with work and my thesis that such subordinate thoughts will never take center stage.
I am excited about meeting my parents and my sister and my friends when I go home this christmas vacation.I just hope they also love my visit as much as I am going to.
I mean who would want to meet an obnoxious, obese , overindulging ,overly pessimistic and overanxious person .................So in short I want to change before it's too late.....and throw out the O's and bring in all the E's.....and try to be eleqouent, eclectic, enthusiastic and exceptionally fit(both mentally and physically)
So here's to a new beginning!
ADIOS!

DAY AFTER FRIDAY!
Saturday morning and I get up early like 5:57 am to be precise.Thankfully my employee showed up at 6:00am.So I didn't have to work at the desk.Well then later had to go for the graduate assistants orientation for the third time and the presentation was presented by the same people who had presented it the first two times i had attended it so I pretty much knew what was coming.
Then Neo and I went for breakfast to Zorbas 'the greek restaurant' or rather ' the great value restaurant.'Coffee and eggs , wow what breakfast!
In no time it was 1:00 pm and my family from New York was in town.My Aunt and Uncle flew down from New Jersey to visit me.They drove in from Indianapolis and are going to stay with me for the weekend.I miss my family and they are the only family I have here so having them here even if it's just for a weekend is a bliss.
Our first stop was Potbellys for lunch.Aunt and Uncle had toasted sandwiches for lunch and me a freezing Apple Smoothie.Yummy! Food was really good and the smoothie too.They loved it so I was happy.I mean it is also a risk when you take people to a place you yourself have not been to.
Then some office work for a couple of hours and then I came home.A little bit of mapquest and yahoo maps and a phone call and then we were on our way to Lake Bloomington and Comalara park.It was So calm and serene.Water is always so soothing for the troubled mind.Stress and worries just wither away with the breeze that flows near water. The blues strech wide till the eye can reach.
Then after an hour or so we went for a drive through Downtown - Bloomington.Showed them the so called Eifel Tower and the holy trinity church.Then we went to an Indian grocery so that I can cook breakfast tomorrow.Olive Garden food was enticing.My uncle and aunt were really interested in treating me there.So we had herb lime chicken and Fettucine Alfredo.
A quick detour to Walmart for some essentials like milk and bread and then we returned contended since the weather didn't ditch us all day (It had rained cats and dogs yesterday).
In all a perfect day sealed with perfect weather and consisting perfect company and perfect combination of food and merriment in general!!!!!!!!!!!
Too much Perfection can kill but this time it didn't!